A Mindful Self-Compassion Guide for Navigating COVID Illness
For those of us who are COVID-conscious, disabled, or immunocompromised, avoiding COVID is something that we work tirelessly to achieve. We take precautions to protect ourselves and others from potentially severe acute health outcomes, as well as the often devastating effects of Long COVID or its worsening symptoms. However, being cautious in this way can feel isolating, which has given rise to a rich online network of community care and resource sharing.
From this collective effort, numerous valuable resources have emerged, offering guidance on how to protect oneself from COVID-19 and how to navigate other issues related to remaining COVID-cautious. One example is a guide by COVID-conscious therapist Olivia Belknap, which shares useful strategies for communicating COVID boundaries - other guides cover topics such as medication recommendations, "radical rest," and isolation techniques to keep others safe. I appreciate how the COVID-conscious community is making such information readily accessible through easy-to-digest lists and diagrams, especially since the stress of a positive COVID test can make it incredibly difficult to know what to do next. My experience with my first known symptomatic COVID case this summer confirmed this for me— step-by-step guides are invaluable when your mind feels foggy and overwhelmed.
What I haven’t seen yet, however, is a guide on how to be compassionately present with yourself when COVID infection (or Long COVID) comes a-knockin’. This is crucial because research shows that self-compassion can help you cope better with life's challenges, including illness (Wren et al, 2012) and trauma (Hiraoka et al, 2015). It’s even linked to fewer negative states such as depression, anxiety, stress, and shame (Zessin et al, 2015 ) — all things that can make being sick even harder. Self-compassionate people also tend to ruminate less (Raes, 2010) and take a broader perspective (Neff & Pommier, 2013), which eases overall distress.
So, here are some tips based on my most recent experience getting sick with COVID, preceded by many years of practicing mindful self-compassion and teaching the research-backed curriculum developed by Dr. Kristin Neff and Chris Germer.
Ok, first - back up, Liz. What is mindful self-compassion?!
Well, there are three main key components:
Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment
Treat yourself with the same care you would give to a dear friend, beloved pet, or cherished kiddo, rather than being harsh or self-critical.Common Humanity vs. Isolation
Remember that suffering is a shared human experience. Knowing others face similar struggles can help you feel more connected to our human family, and to feel less alone.Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification
How often do we notice a sensation, thought or emotion and, before we know it, end up lost and disconnected from ourselves? Probably pretty often, right? Mindfulness is all about being present with what's happening without getting lost in the stories, judgements, and past/future thinking that take us away from connecting with ourselves and others.
Ready to explore what each of these components
of mindful self-compassion look like in action?
Let’s dive right in!
Cultivating Self-Kindness
When you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or in pain, try placing a hand on your heart or another soothing part of your body. Feel the warmth of your touch as a simple, supportive gesture. If it helps, take slow, deep breaths and stay in this moment for as long as you need. Acknowledge your fear, anger, or worry without judgment and with understanding — knowing that stress can worsen symptoms and that your body is already working hard enough to fight the virus. This helps to reduce the overall load on your body, allowing it to do its best to protect you from harm – what an act of support and kindness!
Move gently through your day.
Take it slow, rest as often as you can, and consider taking medications that might help with your symptoms if that feels right for you.
Be kind to yourself; don’t blame yourself for being unwell.
When it comes to daily activities like making food or showering, try to conserve your energy be slow, gentle and deliberate. Ask yourself: “Do I really need to do this right now or can it wait?.”
Allow yourself to enjoy small comforts like cozying up for a nap, watching a favorite show, or savoring a cup of tea.
Let yourself check out when you need to.
Let yourself linger in simple pleasures such as the momentary alleviation of a sore throat as you suck on a soothing cough drop. Ah, sweet relief!
Self-kindness can also mean standing up for yourself with medical providers — asking for what you need, whether that’s that they mask up, order appropriate tests, or send in prescriptions for medications to help you get better. It's totally valid and understandable to feel angry as you grapple with having COVID, and, out of deep care for yourself, you might consider trying not to hold onto anger for too long right now, as lingering anger and other strong emotions can add extra stress to your already strained body and heart. Instead, you can validate the anger, and perhaps let it know you will make space for it when you are feeling better and able to do so.
Connecting with Common Humanity
When I fell ill during the COVID-19 surge of summer 2024, I immediately felt deeply connected to others who were simultaneously battling the virus — especially those like me who had worked so hard for so long to avoid getting sick. I felt that much more connected to the immunocompromised, disabled, and COVID-conscious communities who are at high risk of serious complications. We have all been let down by institutions meant to protect us, and I felt my heart expand, knowing that my fear, discomfort, and frustration were shared by so many. While I wished others weren’t suffering alongside me, this shared experience truly made me feel less alone.
So much of our suffering comes from feeling isolated when in desperate need of connection. It helped me to imagine all the others going through this with me, as if we were carrying the weight of it together. It’s one thing to know intellectually that many others have COVID, but it's another to let yourself feel it. I found it soothing to visualize these others, breathe in compassion for myself, and wish them ease and recovery with each outbreath. While it would be totally understandable to emotionally shut down under such stressful conditions, this small practice helped me take my seat in the human family and feel some ease in my heart. Maybe you’d like to try it, too. : )
Practicing Mindfulness
My symptoms first appeared as an uninvited visitor in the middle of the night. Alone and concerned, my heart raced, and my thoughts swirled in a flurry of worry and fear. Knowing sleep was impossible, I got out of bed and, with mindful awareness, set up my new COVID testing machine to take a reading. As I waited for the results, I took my anxiety for a slow, mindful walk (think zombie-snail pace - i.e. really freaking slow) — each step deliberate, feeling the cool tile underfoot, inviting kindness into each soft step.
As I breathed with the anxiety and icky feeling of the low grade fever, I felt my heart rate come down as I tended to only what was right in front of me: my feet as they swung gently through the air to meet the ground again. I kept my focus here. A worry or fearful thought would come, and I’d place my hand on my heart as I mindfully and tenderly walked back and forth. I’d occasionally pause and stand with my knees bent loosely as I took a deeper breath, and let it all out. The test result was negative that night. But it was a strong positive by the time I tested again the next day. What made it all less overwhelming is that I didn’t leave myself; I cared for each surge of fear with care and kindness.
As I focused on my steps, my heart rate slowed. When fears resurfaced, I placed a hand on my heart, again and again, welcoming myself back to my body and to the present moment. My first test was negative, but a retest the next day confirmed COVID. What made it less overwhelming was staying with myself, caring for each surge of fear with compassion.
Walking – even at a true snail’s pace – may not be right or accessible for everyone (and wasn’t right for me as I got sicker and leaned more deeply into radical rest to increase my chances of recovering more fully). A great practice for bringing mindfulness to difficult times that doesn’t require any movement is the mindful self-compassion break. Another is a meditation called affectionate breathing (see recording below) that I have adapted to be inclusive of folks for whom the breath is not an appropriate or easeful object of attention (i.e. for folks who struggle with breathing or are otherwise triggered by breath-based practices).
Mindful walking may not be right or accessible for everyone, especially when feeling unwell. Other practices, like the mindful self-compassion break or affectionate breathing meditation, can offer gentle ways to stay present without movement.
In Summary…
Navigating COVID-19 can be overwhelming, but embracing mindful self-compassion can help you find moments of calm, connection, and tenderness in the midst of it all. By practicing self-kindness, recognizing our shared humanity, and staying present with mindfulness, you can soften the experience of suffering and offer yourself the same gentleness you would a friend or community member who was going through a rough time. You can also reduce the amount of taxing stress your body takes on to help it have a better chance at mounting its response to the virus.
Remember:
Self-kindness means treating yourself with care and understanding, especially when things are tough.
Connecting to common humanity helps remind you that you are not alone — many others feel just as you do.
And mindfulness keeps you anchored in the present, reducing the tendency to get lost for too long in fearful thoughts or painful self-judgment.
Whether it’s through simple gestures like placing a hand on your heart, taking mindful breaths, or practicing compassionate self-talk, these tools are here to support you! They can be especially helpful when navigating the uncertainty of illness, allowing you to care for yourself with patience and grace.
So, next time you find yourself struggling — whether it's with COVID or another challenge — consider reaching into this toolkit. Remember that every small act of self-compassion adds up, helping to lighten the load and nourish both your body and mind. You're not alone in this journey, and being kind to yourself is one of the most impactful things you can do to care for yourself.
May you find ease and gentleness amidst difficulty,
as well as moments of unexpected delight as you navigate your path forward.
<3
Take good care of your precious self,
one breath and one compassionate step at a time.
